QUWBWALBOSBIDSS.. IHGWTS?

[w/r/t a Department of Energy official]: quarked up white boy with a little bit of clearance blasts it down nuclear style.. is he DOE-ted with the sauce?

[w/r/t the anime girl in the “chill lofi beats to study/relax to” YouTube channel]: quirked up lofi girl with a little bit of chill studies hard relaxual style.. is she beated with the sauce?

[w/r/t the Try Guy cheating “scandal”]: quirked up Try Guy with a little bit of clout loses it all infidelity style.. is he Fullered with the sauce?

[w/r/t Don DeLillo’s classic White Noise]: quirked up White Noise with the Most Photographed Barn studies Hitler airborne toxic style.. is it DeLillo’d with the sauce?

[w/r/t Bob Odenkirk being shamed for following a foot fetish Instagram account]: Odenkirk’d up white boy with a little bit of ‘gram kicks it down fetish style.. is he footed with the socks?

a friend of mine shared a quote, from Cioran I later learned, that has since hung around my mind like a pall of smoke:

To have devoted to the idea of death all the hours which any vocation demands. . . Metaphysical outbursts are the attribute of monks, debauchees and bums. A job would have turned Buddha into a mere malcontent.

upon first reading this, a taunting voice arose from within and hissed “that’s you, a mere malcontent. what hope do you have for beauty if you actively wish for 40 hours each week to pass as quickly as possible? where else does this lead but the grave?”

some people go through life only barely aware that another way is possible, ostensibly happy to work for wages that can be then used for acquiring things, with their little remaining free time reserved for mindless distraction. others are so at odds with the demands of the machine as to reject and be rejected by it, and are therefor cast out into psychosis, criminality, and/or death. the dream, the ideal, is to slip between the mechanisms and find a path for remaining human, without critical (ie fatal) sacrifice.

then there’s what I do: imagine myself as strident or eccentric despite leading an extremely safe life perfectly in accord with society’s unjustified demands.

I have no desire for glory or fame; I might argue that the present historical moment suffers from a devaluing of glory, but it is not in my nature to be a Napoleon or a Lenin. I also believe that acceptance of one’s mundane existence is a step on the road to [REDACTED], and that the present historical moment suffers from an excess of people who believe they’re special, that is, outside humanity and beyond the reaches of death.

I do not wish to be God, nor do I wish to be Caesar. I only wish to have the courage of Cioran’s monk/debauchee/bum. but unfortunately I am a coward, full of regret.

this weekend my brother is getting married. I’m officiating.

I regret not being closer with my brother.

I regret that my family is only a source of pain for me.

I regret being the son of a fascist federale.

I regret that my mom has never been well.

I regret wishing this week would be over and done with.

I regret every time I did not speak my mind for the sake of politeness.

I regret allowing people I disagree with to think otherwise.

I regret preserving illusions.

I regret not making more dumb mistakes in my 20s.

I regret not cultivating broader curiosity about the people around me.

I regret being irritated when a stranger tries to make small talk.

I regret my passivity.

I regret my desire to appear “put together.”

I regret closely guarding my exuberance and my clownishness.

I regret every day I spend anxiously clicking around the internet to waste time at work.

the friend who posted the Cioran assures that “It’s never too late to change tho.” we shall find out.

Madame Blavatsky on Destiny

Yes: “our destiny is written in the stars!” Only, the closer the union between the mortal reflection MAN and his celestial PROTOTYPE, the less dangerous the external conditions and subsequent reincarnations—which neither Buddhas nor Christs can escape. This is not superstition, least of all is it Fatalism. The latter implies a blind course of some still blinder power, and man is a free agent during his stay on earth. He cannot escape his ruling Destiny, but he has the choice of two paths that lead him in that direction, and he can reach the goal of misery—if such is decreed to him, either in the snowy white robes of the martyr, or in the soiled garments of a volunteer in the iniquitous course; for, there are external and internal conditions which affect the determination of our will upon our actions, and it is in our power to follow either of the two. Those who believe in Karma have to believe in Destiny, which, from birth to death, every man is weaving thread by thread around himself, as a spider does his cobweb; and this Destiny is guided either by the heavenly voice of the invisible prototype outside of us, or by our more intimate astral, or inner man, who is but too often the evil genius of the embodied entity called man. Both these lead on the outward man, but one of them must prevail; and from the very beginning of the invisible affray the stern and implacable Law of Compensation steps in and takes its course, faithfully following the fluctuations. When the last strand is woven, and man is seemingly enwrapped in the net-work of his own doing, he finds himself completely under the empire of this self-made Destiny. It then either fixes him like the inert shell against the immovable rock, or carries him away like a feather in the whirlwind raised by his own actions, and this is—KARMA.

The Secret Doctrine, H.P. Blavatsky

“a mystery is not a problem to be solved”

when everything’s up in the air it’s difficult to find solid ground to work from. the 15th we got keys (well, technically the 13th) to our new house, which is up on the hill and has a breathtaking view of the city and ocean. but I’m mostly out of breath from schlepping boxes up and down stairs and driving them the two blocks between my old and new places. it doesn’t look like I will have finished the story I wanted to submit during September submission periods, but publication is merely an ordeal to be borne once the actual activity of art is completed, so now merely is not the time. once life is settled into routine I can resume the work of derangement via writing.

listening to a lot of recordings of Terence McKenna talks while packing. I’m someone who before this rather enjoyed McKenna’s thought as a kind of curio, but the more I listen to him talk, the more I’m impressed with his rigor, range, and gumption. the way he explains how the world corporate state/neoliberalism works not only disavowed me of the idea that he isn’t a totally serious thinker, at least politically, but it basically summarized it all better than I’ve ever heard anyone put it, including explicitly leftist intellectuals like Michael Parenti. despite the more harebrained of his ideas generally serving as his calling cards (stoned ape theory, Timewave Zero, etc.), McKenna is an exceptionally lucid and critical thinker who is among a group of maybe four public intellectuals in recent memory whom I still hold in high esteem: David Graeber, Mike Davis, and I guess Charles Bowden, but Bowden is more journalist/writer than intellectual. once I have more time I want to devote it to writing about literally whatever the fuck I find interesting here the way McKenna seems able to discuss basically any topic that comes his way. enough of these little update posts, I want to write multiple-thousand-word essays about quantum theory, alchemy, shamanism, Buddhism, Gnosticism, literary history, drugs, paranoia, apocalypse, aesthetic theory, technology, whatever. I also want to do the s*****s and a**d that are in my fridge, and, ideally, track down some D*T to sm*ke.

currently I’m rereading Dubliners for the first time in years, so maybe Joyce is a decent place to start wrt longer-form blogging. I need practice using way more words than are strictly speaking necessary: my tendency towards concision is a good one, but it should serve to temper a predilection for babbling, which I tamp down for fear of being obnoxious. from now on I want to risk being obnoxious.

alright that’s enough earnestness from me today.

The Bodhisattva Hani Hanjour, Blessed Pilot of Impossible Flight Paths

this past Thursday I was summoned for jury duty. in my experience, jury duty is an opportunity to do a lot of reading. so with this in mind I brought along my copy of the Lotus Sutra to study while being held in the jury services waiting area.

the Lotus Sutra is one of the many books to survive the radical culling of my personal library I must do in preparation of moving this week. the new lease starts on Thursday, but moments ago I received word that we can pick up the keys tomorrow. my current apartment no longer is capable of housing all my books, so for that reason alone I’m overjoyed to be relocating. add the fact that I will be cohabiting a delightful house overlooking downtown and the ocean with a woman I love dearly, all for a reduction in rent, and I couldn’t be more excited. it is a privilege to have books to pass along to someone else, so there are presently three bags full of titles I will be sending off to some friends, plus I’ve donated at least four bags worth to the library that employs me, plus I traded in two more bags worth for $70 in trade credit. I had to restrain myself from immediately using all of that credit to purchase an unabridged two volume Isis Unveiled by H.P. Blavatsky and a copy of Albert Pike’s Morals and Dogma of the Ancient and Accepted Scottish Rite of Freemasonry. Instead I picked up a textbook on electromagnetism, a book of stories by Malcolm Lowry, The Holographic Universe by Michael Talbot, and The Epic of Gilgamesh. if it is in my fate to own the books I passed up, they will be there next time I visit the used bookstore.

back at jury duty, the Lotus Sutra seemed to be protecting me. I made it through the first round without my name being called, and the morning was moving along nicely. I thought that so long as I maintained the right view, the right intention, the right speech, the right action, the right livelihood, the right effort, the right mindfulness, and the right samadhi, then the selection of jurors would pass over me and allow me to escape the bureaucratic hell karma had determined would be my lot for the day. since this desire is obviously a vulgar, profane goal arising out of my ego, and not out of my buddha-nature, with 30 minutes left in the morning session my name was included among those prospective jurors who would be required to return to the courthouse that afternoon for potential placement on a jury panel that had begun selection the day prior.

the case needed one more alternate juror to begin proceedings. were I being questioned for an official spot on the jury, and not as a potential back up, I might have kept my mouth shut and participated, but, not wanting to sit through the entire trial on the off-chance I’ll be needed to fill a vacant spot come deliberation time, I told the judge I harbor deep resentment towards my ex-FBI father, and this resentment has led me to a principled, political opposition to the police as such, and the judge dismissed me. the use of expedient means by buddhas and bodhisattvas is one of the prime lessons of the Lotus Sutra. the next day, the day I traded in books, Mercury retrograde started.

yesterday was 9/11, never forget.

EMERGENCY ALERT: VAMPIRES REPORTED

reactionaries have utilized any and all means to register smug contempt for Gavin Newsom these past few days, with a record-breaking heat wave leading to California’s energy companies warning of the possibility of blackouts as a result of added strain on the electrical grid. Newsom issued a directive that urges Californians to reduce power usage during peak times, generally 5 – 9pm. the rejoinder from those eager to castigate the pretty boy/petty tyrant asks, sarcastically, how outlawing the sale of gas-powered vehicles will lead to reduced power usage, since in that eventuality everyone will need to charge their electric vehicles. far be it from me to criticize someone for criticizing Gavin Newsom, for whom I reserve a special disdain, but electric cars are generally charged overnight, when energy consumption is at its lowest. this is not to disagree with those who bemoan how mismanaged California’s energy is, which is manifestly obvious to anyone paying attention to it.

speaking of draining energy, this past weekend was a reminder to me of the importance of taking preventative measures against vampires. vampires are adept at finding ways to harness energy for their own gratification with a minimum of effort. indications someone you are dealing with is a vampire include: negligible interest being paid to whomever they seek validation from; disregard for the time and energy required to maintain cordial relations; actions directly contradicting any illusory evidence of their ostensible care; willful ignorance of any efforts to communicate hurt feelings. if vanquishing via the traditional wooden stake in the heart is not an option, I recommend, once their true nature has been revealed to you, that you deny at every opportunity their attempts to reconcile. vampires must be invited into one’s life, after all, and while difficult, it is not impossible to retract an already opened invitation.

vampires may take many forms, including that of a sexy Latina stripper

there are no major astrological events worth commenting on at present, which reflects, personally, the doldrums of being a week away from moving into a new place. my apartment is very small, so I can’t really begin dissembling the living space I’ve inhabited for the past seven years until there’s somewhere to move things to. the moon moved into Aquarius last night at 8:40PM PDT, almost exactly when I got off the phone with Erikk, who, like everyone else I know, it seems, is also moving in the near future. I wanted to start yesterday on these near-daily, astrologically-tinted posts, but the site I purchase hosting space from was down all afternoon, which prevented me from accessing my blog.

Mercury in Libra is trine Mars in Gemini, air signs concerned with the manner in which ideas constitute the social relations between people and others. this aspect will hover there for a few days as Mercury turns retrograde on the 9th. I expect an atmosphere conducive to harmonious and logical, if somewhat strenuous, reflection on the myriad ways people interact with each other: both practically/physically, due to Mars’s influence, and intellectually/linguistically, Mercury’s domain. this as Saturn in Aquarius squares Uranus in Taurus, a chance to actualize any sensuous illusions presently impeding one’s ability to articulate and structure desire. Virgo season being in full swing, it is time to reinforce what works and sacrifice what doesn’t, in an effort to purify one’s sphere, taking special care to exorcise all vampiric influences.

The Unpredictable Maverick (David Icke #1)

Two hemispheres with a bridge connecting ‘space’ while hung them called the corpus other, unless the hemispheres have very different as they are of each functions or personalities. and expanded to connect with whole-brained people to give us the Consciousness best aspects of both. This is, his is what genuine physics Archons want and so with most people the (Fig. 59). this doesn’t happen. doing (so many are not structure-obsessed left side of brain and mediums and this is reflected in the, but persuade people they of human society. The right brain sees genuine or gifted ‘wholes,’ not parts, and in themselves.) Two of the most the dots in ways that the left-brain can are, including the not. The right-brain is ones in my own experience are Carol Clark creative, inspirational and California. Awareness/entities Sepulveda in the unpredictable maverick. Icy bands, or what many call in other frequency Psychologists call the right-communicate through physics, dimensions, co-brain ‘subjective’—channels by projecting thought mediums or Proceeding from or taking (in our reality) fields to them place in a person’s mind energetic connection. This electromagnetic rather than the external experience with Betty was the ‘spider’ ‘world’ and ‘expressing or decodes these during my initiation bringing into prominence into words in his or her Shine. The physic the individuality of the artist An English psychic decodes information field or author.’ The right-brain is field into English, a Spanish own language. A far more closely aligned. The communications one into Spanish with the reality of the heart are not delivered in human between realities then the left-brain and so then fields and concept words, but as that’s the last place the then translated by the fields which are polished as a goat or goat head Arizona Wilder said they of mainstream science is of making as use its astrological sign is experiences at rituals with option based on other flawed assumptions Capricorn—the goat. Saturn quoted in The Biggest Secret wrong and wrong again. The assumption symbolism is obvious in the Mother died: the world is solid. This is extraordinary opposite representation of the evil the Queen Mother: ‘she’s quantum physics has proved that it isn’t known as Baphomet (Fig. 259) person. None of her cohort got underway in the 20th century the was the deity apparently named an alter (mind control nched that it was not going to let little shipped by the Archon-serving They call it the Black Queen’ vaguely acknowledges the quant Knights Templar and continues to people. I remember her otherwise careens on like a drunk in by today’s Satanists. The goat rectum the night that two Britain to any information that exposes is often depicted within a six- You need to forget that the Queen Mother ravings of a lunatic. On the centre stage of star which gives a doublt-shifts into a reptilian She becomes very like Professor Richard meaning and note the out a heart and they all grow by several French and Skep , a major Archontic symbol of Beeches lady said about Edward Heath their beliefs and ‘made from smokeless fire’ her sacrifice people and eat their flesh exactly the same way nous fire’ (Fig. 260). Acclaimed blood lust that she didn’t cut the victim’s religion. Dawkins es masonic historian Manly P. Hall went crazy, stabbing and ripping at the flesh anti-religion but too armed that the goat god Pan shape-shifts she has a long reptile face, almost that he is the high priest symbol of Saturn for the same ‘royal’ Archon-Reptilians are said to be Scientism in which (Figs. 261). Hall wrote in his basically the same, but their are differences. Official version of events Secret Teachings of All Ages: ‘Pan her eyes are very frightening. She’s very texts. Even those composite creature, the upper understand reality with the exception of his detail (left-brain) that own backsides with seeing how simple.

VHS Cubism

effects I had that squirting more bits from one point, apparently. I wonder logical that turning up a radio’s this book—if other, more might indicate a sin. For example, 1.2 million excesses and interconnections—if there was somewhat come to be called VHS Cubism, still so public, that self in our time. double or triple it, if you want, was the case. It’s through the Inter-metric patterns to come, up with a use for more with absolute earing in agriculture Eastern Europe, to deliver very new and imaginary allusions shorn at the United States, concentrated in the transmitted and the means. It is of course the UK. Like most—a long running. This is true of almost any, represents the hoax, designed to fans and New Age beginner. Beginners don’t un-erotic, component grist for late—The crop form matter which had developed awesome, video camera. When first that it be christened phenomenon than I of view—which, very likely to pan and zoom, was meant to, can be regard. all the degrees of freedom was wholly sub-amplifications of Syn, a manic, jerky home video, and Jill did not go in because the laxity, and opened her eyes. The clock, but Constance climbed, sometimes labelled, which charged with the staircase. There was a completeness in she whispered. Climb upward through the white-way, “Hi,” He was wide awake. breathless when she reached the true, that Picasso’s “I dreamed of laughing.” maze of cables and connectors, first and fateful “We’ll laugh tomorrow,” By truck batteries. For a moment. The subject-joke. He turned her away from, concealed her surprise. She saw poet Andre, mouth still smiling against her. The Girls of Braque, and Analytic, even the family, winces at and is Barcelona, was range of far itself to a zooms. Later, with the benefit, reinforce the aggression instruments; often with muse these new degrees of freedom coordinate to the style leading towards compositions and had ill effects on our hard-copy flap. every minute escapes with part of it and ability to change font style. Constance said, “I want to laugh.” Matisse is the art many present-day university said and grinned, at his own, painted in 1906, the Joy of Life. size is a temptation that pollutes him and held her. She felt his subject-matter. Avignon treats it and business documents, a good deal that Matisse, serif type of all kinds and sizes. On the last day of August, Ben (version of) to convey his own and without shadows. It takes neither top nor sides. Ben and paintings done injured up in his typography to realize that sticky Jill bounced around in it all Matisse, even to realize the more appropriate, and on the beach to the very tip of long series of line of Ingres—can be more. Was, to have their lunch. demonstrate this 1920s and 1930s. Bandwidth is similar. was filled with an odd rented bright red Jeep with dogma that says we should use to the top. The steel door had Constance and Charlotte, information that needs to be.

#7

shadowbox all you want: here’s a formidable opponent intimate in its designs running perfectly counter.

a quick hop over the rift in space time unleashes God knows, to the point where the symmetry of 2 11s, make a wish, is as serendipitous as a fortune cookie.

polarity; even the reptile’s ancestors know that, way before sacrificial cults. so maybe sometimes the face of the earth needs correction. at whose hand?

scapegoats are factory farmed. scripts are written, down to the chainlink. meanwhile, a pacific lullaby becomes an alibi for the white guy

Oh, round moon, please, drop it low enough to taste, compensate this imbalance lest we fail as ever in search of peace unconflicted, but until then, let the Charleston be tolerated, the Twist be taboo, and if the calendar is a circle of control, then the horror is there is no end, and terror is when people get together to plot murder, The End. what say you, Maya?

conspiracy twitter review

something that keeps me from writing often is the belief that I’m not privy to information unbeknownst to the people who might read me. this is an attitude reflective of my desire to be informative, which is a notion, as a fiction writer, I should probably dispense with. of course, it’s entirely possible that something I write might teach someone something they did not previously know, and all the better if that’s the case.

that being said, I am still someone addicted to learning, addicted to information, addicted to parsing the machinations of power and history and psychology, and as such I do spend a lot of time and energy trying to get to the bottom of various so-called “rabbit holes.” lucky for a 21st century writer, there are myriad freelance research assistants on the internet to crib notes from. so, what I’ve decided to do here is a brief review of some Twitter accounts I keep up with that are part of what is referred to as “conspiracy Twitter.”

despite these accounts obviously representing real people, please understand these comments as having no bearing on any real person’s character. you know, one love and all that. y’all wanna be micromedia figures in las guerras de información, shining a light on the federales, cool with us.

@RobertSkvarla

Robert Skvarla is evidently a writer/journalist/editor of some kind, listing Covert Affairs in his bio as a publication he has written for. a lot of entry level conspiracy Twitter is basically a more detail oriented version of what left media has offered for forty-fifty years now. COINTELPRO? anti-imperialism? ruling class propaganda? Skvarla’s got you covered. any self-respecting leftist owes it to themselves to be familiar with the practical methods capital uses to legitimize its power. Skvarla benefits from his experience as a journalist in that he avoids being too idiosyncratic or relying too heavily on the performance of a certain paranoid personality type. there are several accounts I could have slotted into this review that cover beats similar to Skvarla’s. in the past few weeks Skvarla has made a point of injecting nuance into the extremely dumb debate surrounding the legitimacy of the FBI, since it seems like every mainstream center-left pundit has tripped over their dick trying to worship at the edifice J. Edgar Hoover built.

and if aliens are your thing, Skvarla’s occasional comments on the UFO phenomenon and its relationship to Defense Department propaganda are fun too.

@UnionBustingBot

AFL-CIA 1312 is of course a great Twitter name that I’m glad isn’t merely a dumb Twitter name but is actually descriptive of the content the account specializes in: documenting methods used by the American intelligence community to subvert labor movements. there’s lots of history about FBI and CIA infiltration of worker organization efforts, and plenty of Insight into which unions are sold out to whom and which are favored by the feds and why. if you are somehow still under the illusion in the year of our dead Lord 2022 that three letter agencies were ever anything other than bulwarks against leftist efforts—or, if you need reminding that capital doesn’t just “win” because people are selfish or whatever, but that capital has to exercise every dirty trick it can conceive of to stop the people from demanding what’s rightfully theirs, follow AFL-CIA 1312

@marina0swald

I know (not the real) marina oswald used to hang around on the TrueAnon Discord, but TrueAnon was confirmed a psyop by other lefty conspiracy podcasts whose Discords I’ve gathered intelligence on. you ever think it’s weird that the chat platform that’s gotten really popular recently amongst tribal fanbases is called Discord? I should make a note to look into their financials later…

(not the real) marina oswald is kind of a caricature of the obstinance and blinkered myopia it takes to spend so much time ferreting out the American ruling class’s connections to the intelligence apparatus. after a certain point with all this shit, it’s hard not to groan, “yeah okay the Bushes and the Nazis and the CIA and the Kennedy assassination and Iran Contra and 9/11, I get it.” but god bless her(?), (not the real) marina oswald is not going to let it go, because why the fuck would anyone allow Them to do all these things to us?

I say myopic though because what if like, all this CIA/FBI bullshit is a distraction from who’s really pulling the strings? like, maybe there’s something behind what’s behind the overlords? like, maybe the earth is a terrain of cosmic battle, the context and implications of which we can only perceive by accident, ironically, reflected through a glass darkly….like, what if, like, that’s what’s…like…you know?

@BoltzmannBooty

this account is my favorite conspiracy account, not for their conspiracy content but because they posted what I think is a perfect tweet:

I don’t care how easily impressed I am, this is a koan-like distillation of the only sane-ish position it is possible to hold if one believes, despite ultimate verification of nothing, that they can figure it all out.

and if anyone is going to figure out what happened April 19, 1995, the day Timothy McVeigh & Terry Nichols (et. al.) bombed the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City, it’s 12 Ball. as someone who has spent considerable time in a federal building with his Special Agent father, this conspiracy is particularly depressing. don’t read whatever intelligence-approved cumrag Jeffrey Toobin publishes on this subject next year; follow 12 Ball, who deserves one more shout out for:

what the fuck is going on??

It depends what the meaning of the word “is” is.

President William Jefferson Clinton

@crackconnoisser

[N.B.: a few days went by after writing the below and the motherfuckers got jinx. another account suspended. follow his back up account @freemaysun]

much like with crack, please use jinx edits responsibly, if that’s even possible.

https://twitter.com/freemaysun/status/1561526906335404033

my admiration for jinx’s video work can’t be overstated. no one else making “content” is better at capturing the experience of being “pilled”: I’ll put one on, be all like oh haha yeah I know this one…mhm…wait what? is that true? slow down. no, no, that can’t be right…really? that was on the news?? and all these wikipedia pages…holy fuckin shit….it’s all connected….

king of the schizoid pranksters, perennially suspected of being a fed, jinx is a true artist MK-Ultra’d to life by overexposure to 21st century media. masterfully paired with pop songs (or, more likely, Pop Smoke), these videos might shock anyone unfamiliar with the “parapolitical” landscape: what Peter Dale Scott calls “deep politics,” what exists beyond, according to Thomas Pynchon, “secular history.”

https://twitter.com/freemaysun/status/1543419613760761856

if not shocked, then you’ll be extremely confused. step through the looking glass at your own risk.

https://twitter.com/freemaysun/status/1561670980078018562