received another rejection today. my submission schedule is extremely erratic. basically once a month i send this story to 2-5 places, then never want to look at submittable again, until i remember i have to get someone to publish what i write if i want even a shot at writing regularly.
this story i’ve been submitting all year is one i like i think, but i can’t even tell any more. what little feedback i’ve gotten from venues is that they like the setting and the characters’ vernacular, but there are structural factors that make the story a little unwieldy, things i’m not willing to change about it that i recognize probably put a lot of readers off, even if they see the merits. maybe worthwhile to put that story aside for a bit and submit something else around for a while, but that would require i finish up the stories i’ve been mired on for months.
one’s a section of the novel i’m struggling to wrangle and coax. it’s a character study that only obliquely develops the larger plot, but i’m not sure how to bring it home. there’s an angle i want to take on it, that’s vindictive and cathartic and also based on how certain situations actually unfolded, but bridging that with what i’ve set up is proving difficult, though i suspect that’s because i’m just avoiding doing it. also i make it hard on myself in a practical sense, because i handwrite drafts/sketches, then type a full draft on the typewriter, then edit from that document, before ever getting the words into a word processor. also something i’m not willing to change, because i’m wary of what word processor typing does to the writing, but it’s worth noting that this might be me doing some of that self-sabotage i’m so good at.
another story is a weird first person thing that really started with me trying to use zoomer/internet language in as obnoxious way as possible, but then it took a bizarre turn where now i’m worried i wrote myself into a corner and don’t have a very good exit strategy.
so, look, honestly today’s been rough, i’m tired, and there’s more to write about this stuff, so rather than sort of half ass through it here in the half hour before i pass out i’m gonna save it, and some day job kvetching (i had a performance review today and i hate that i’m good at my job), save all that for tomorrow, take the loss for this on the day. my yoga class wasn’t very good. i’m so tired.
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